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| Easy Tips for Parents can handle loneliness |
When children leave home for school or work, parents often experience loneliness. By embracing this change, taking up new hobbies, and spending time with their partner, they can make this period beautiful.
Every parent dreams of their children achieving a good education and reaching the pinnacle of professional success. In today's world, to achieve this dream, most teenagers and young people have to leave their homes and move to other cities or even abroad in search of better educational and employment opportunities. This is why, upon completing school, most students move away from home to pursue their interests. While parents are happy with their children's success, they also experience loneliness. This article also speaks to psychological counselor Sajidah Ambreen .
Emptiness in the atmosphere
In such a situation, it becomes difficult for parents to accept the separation from their children. Even if they are of college-going age, mothers are constantly worried about their children's health. They spend mornings and evenings in the kitchen preparing their favorite dishes, but as soon as their children leave home for higher education, all the hustle and bustle comes to a halt. Every mother suddenly feels like she has nothing to do.
Fathers generally don't express their feelings, but even they don't like the emptiness of their home. Earlier, morning and evening, the atmosphere was always vibrant with the children's playfulness, loving banter, and a few scolding's. Now, the entire house feels empty. Mothers are most affected by this change. Just as young birds leave their nests and fly away after a while, the same situation happens in our homes.
Mental preparation is essential
According to psychological counselor Sajidah Ambreen, the depressed mood that parents experience after their children leave for studies or work is known as "empty nest syndrome" in psychological terms. This sudden void in their lives can lead to symptoms of depression in some women, who find themselves without a purpose. However, parents should understand that, after a certain age, children also need some personal space for their studies and careers. Therefore, it is wise for parents to try to accept this change.
Alka Yadav, a homemaker from Lucknow, says, "When my younger daughter was going to Delhi to pursue MBBS, it was initially difficult for me to accept the change. I felt as if I had no work left. I would often cry looking at her empty room and study table. After a few months, to overcome this sadness, I arranged for a PG for the girls in the vacant part of my house. This relieved my loneliness and also started bringing in some income. I check on the girls every day. They keep our house lively."
Take time for yourself
If you look back, you'll realize that for the past 18-20 years, you were busy raising your children, leaving no time for yourself. A mother who took care of every need for her children couldn't find any time for herself.
Asha Maurya, a homemaker from Nagpur, says, "Both my sons have gone abroad for higher education. After their departure, I suddenly felt a sense of emptiness. I couldn't concentrate on anything. If their calls were even slightly delayed, I would become anxious. So, I would call them myself every morning and evening. I used to feel very lonely, but to overcome my sadness, I have now turned to my old hobby of sewing and embroidery. I enjoy my free time with such creative activities. I stay connected with my children through video calls and WhatsApp. To be honest, due to household responsibilities, I never had any time for myself, but now I am enjoying this peaceful phase of my life to the fullest."
This era is beautiful
At the beginning of a new life, most couples are busy raising children and other responsibilities, so they can't devote time to their partner even if they want to. But when the children are busy with their studies, this is the time when a couple can spend quality time with each other.
Sobiya Sheikh from Dhanbad says, "The initial phase of our life was full of difficulties. The financial condition of the family was not good, so we had to cut down on our needs to raise money for the children's education. During that time, we did not even have time to think about ourselves. When my younger son went to medical college, we did feel a little sad, but I knew that it was very important for his better future. The children have become capable of taking care of themselves, so now we spend quality time with each other and remain busy in activities related to our interests. Since we have enough time, we also take full care of our health."
The perspective of both generations
Here's what a mother and daughter from the same family think about the state of empty nest syndrome:
I'm always active (Taukir Khanam, Ghaziabad): I feel that in today's times, we should mentally prepare ourselves for the fact that after completing high school, our children may need to go out of the city or country for higher education. Our son Hamza has been away from home for the last twelve years, and our daughter Mantasha went to Bengaluru five years ago to pursue an MBA and is now working there. After a certain age, children are happy in their own world, and now I too am busy with the cultural activities of our housing society. I talk to them on the phone, so I don't feel lonely.
Parents are aware (Shagufta, Bengaluru): When I was leaving home for my first time to study, I was a little worried about my parents being lonely in my absence. Well, due to COVID, I returned home and, thanks to the work-from-home facility, lived with my parents for almost two years. That was also a very interesting experience. After spending so much time at home, I felt a little sad returning to Bengaluru, but after talking to my parents during that time, I realized that today's parents are very aware of their children's future. The best part is that the older generation has started accepting the changes that come with time.
