In a world as diverse as today's, and at the same time closed so that each of us can isolate in our own space, tolerance plays a pivotal role and is one of the soft skills that benefit a child from an early age and accompany him in his future life.
Tolerance is respect for differences between human beings in opinions, beliefs, cultures, races, and lifestyle. It is an acknowledgment and appreciation of diversity without discrimination or imposition of a single point of view, and tolerance does not mean agreeing with everything but peacefully coexistence with and respect for what we disagree with.
Tolerance is a skill that our children are not born with and do not even have an innate predisposition to, as their natural behavior tends towards a love of possessiveness and a desire for everyone to agree with them. Therefore, adults have to instill it in the child from an early age, so how can our children learn to tolerate?
Our children take sides early
Children pick up on the difference easily, your child may surprise you before he is over five by pointing out to someone and asking you out loud: "Why is he black?" or "Why is he in a wheelchair?" This moment, at a young age, is a golden opportunity for the child to begin his journey of understanding, accepting and tolerating difference.
A 2017 study published in the journal Development Science suggests that bias begins early in children and that they are not passive recipients of information, but rather play an active role in shaping and communicating attitudes between groups. In the study, children were randomly divided into groups, and then presented with stories, some containing positive information about their group, while others containing negative information about other groups. Children preferred stories that sided with their group and prejudiced over other groups.
According to this study, children are more likely to accept biased information that supports their view, in a phenomenon known to adults as "confirmation bias," where when we adopt an opinion on a particular issue, we tend to consume information that corresponds to that opinion and ignore others.
What does a child benefit from tolerance?
Tolerance contributes to the development of an individual child by enriching their worldview and helps build a strong and pluralistic society. Tolerance means respect, empathy, flexibility, good listening and observation, and accepting difference as part of the richness and diversity of the world.
On a personal level, your child achieves lifelong benefits when he learns to forgive, as this skill promotes self-esteem, and if a child respects, appreciates, and accepts others, he will also be able to accept himself, especially when he makes mistakes, avoiding self-flagellation and gaining more self-confidence.
Tolerance plays a very important role in a child's relationships with his peers, as he can deal with conflicts in a constructive way, listen to others and can reach agreement with them when there is a disagreement in play or during activities. It also helps him to integrate into different groups of friends and play teams, and reduces the tendency to be aggressive. Over time, your child may become a mediator in resolving peer conflicts and able to understand others.
When a child is able to empathize and open up, they are generally happier, as Gia Infantil points out.
How does a child learn tolerance?
It starts with the adults around him, parents and teachers are the role models for the child; their actions, their reactions, and even their fears. Tolerance starts with giving the child unconditional acceptance and a sense of security, as the child's acceptance of himself is the starting point for acceptance by others. Therefore, promote values of appreciation and respect within the family; a child will not respect others unless he feels valued and safe in his own home.
Depending on his age, it is possible to open a frank dialogue with the child about the difference. A child easily notices the differences between humans, so satisfy his curiosity and answer his questions honestly and respectfully. In fact, our tolerance ends when our knowledge ends; the fear that prevents us from accepting what we don't understand or disagree with begins, and that fear can turn into rejection and then criticism or attack, as Child Development Info points out.
Encourage your child to express his doubts and feelings before you correct the concepts and talk about human beings being of equal value, let him express and ask. Today's children are exposed to a lot of information and a lot of it is unreliable, so be patient with their questions.
Kids putting their hands together. Many children's hands holding together as a team. Ukrainian people peaceful. Gesture of peaceful relationship of nations. Independence Day of Ukraine. Stop the war.
Practical Steps to Instill Tolerance
-Avoid joking or calling others derogatory nicknames, as children watch and repeat our behavior. Teach your child that sarcasm is not his way of having fun and laughing, and that respecting others starts with respecting the words we use.
-Some children find it difficult to tolerate, so teach him gradually. If he refuses to touch one of his toys, it is early to ask him to share all of them, and you can agree with him, for example, to share some games with others to be more willing and receptive.
-It gave him the ability to express his point of view without hurting the feelings of others, and taught him to play with a team spirit and accept profit and loss.
-Prompt him to reflect on the power of the word, and how language and nonverbal communication can be a source of respect or disrespect. Show them images or situations to think about and discuss.
Use your own stories and memories, open the world map with him to tell him about different cultures he doesn't know, and talk about multiculturalism as part of life.
-Stories, anecdotes, and movies are good examples of diversity and tolerance, and an opportunity to talk about different customs and traditions. Through dialogue, the child learns to tolerate and understands real-life examples of situations in which we apply this value.
-If you see a situation in a movie or series that involves intolerant behavior, discuss it with your child and talk about the harm it might cause to others.
-Family trips are a great opportunity to meet new children that the child has never been used to before, and he realizes that there is a vast world worth discovering. If the opportunity arises to visit different cities or regions, it can be used to introduce the child to them and who lives in them.
-Help your child understand reality by following up on news and information with him, and involve him in situations where there are different people, whether in sports, school, trips, or care homes, so that he knows that difference is a normal part of daily life.
Finally, during his journey of teaching this value, let the child grow at his own pace. Don't ask too much of him at once, don't set unrealistic standards for him, and give him time to understand and change according to his abilities. The goal is not to become perfect, but to learn to see the other person, even when he is different from him in everything.
