After entering into a relationship, it's common to worry about your partner or pay attention to even the smallest details. Sometimes, this care gradually turns into possessiveness. This is especially evident in girls. However, this doesn't mean that boys aren't possessive. Both can feel this way about their partners. It's not just love or habit that's responsible for this.
In fact, when you connect deeply emotionally with someone, your mind begins to view that person as the most important part of your life. This is not just due to love, but also hormonal changes in your body and past experiences.
Oxytocin hormone increases attachment
To understand possessiveness, it's important to first understand oxytocin (the love hormone). This hormone increases love, attachment, and trust between people. When you hold your partner's hand, hug them, or spend quality time together, the hormone oxytocin is released in our bodies. This creates a deeper connection in the relationship.
When your emotional connection is strong, your mind wants to protect that relationship at all costs. Therefore, even small things like where your partner is going, who they're talking to, etc. become immediately noticeable. When this happens, along with the fear of losing your partner, a person becomes overly possessive.
The more emotional investment in the relationship, the more anxiety
When a person invests their time, trust, and emotions in a relationship, it becomes the biggest part of their life. In such a situation, even the slightest fear of losing it shakes a person to their core. Therefore, if a woman shares everything with her partner, she becomes very sensitive about that relationship.
In such a situation, many times we feel that she is just expressing her 'concern and love', but the other person starts considering the same thing as over-possessiveness and restriction.
Old relationships also have an impact
Not every possessive behavior is solely due to your current relationship. Sometimes, it's also connected to a person's past experiences. If someone has been heartbroken or betrayed in the past, they're always afraid of getting their heart broken again, even in a new relationship.
This fear leads them to constantly monitor their partner, asking questions like, "Where are you, who are you with, who are you talking to?" This, in fact, stems from the same insecurity.
The surrounding environment also has an impact
It's also said that your thinking is shaped not just by your experiences but also by the environment you live in. If, since childhood, you've witnessed loved ones express a kind of love where constantly knowing each other's whereabouts and keeping track of each other was considered love, then this possessiveness may seem normal to you. At the same time, you must have noticed on Instagram-Reels that over-possessive relationships are shown as very romantic, this also has a great impact on our thinking.
Is a little possessiveness wrong?
We can't call all forms of possessiveness wrong. A little worry about your partner or fear of losing them is a sign of love and affection. For example, worrying about your partner coming home late is natural, but the problem begins when this worry turns into suspicion.
